For the first time in my life, I feel like my friends don't care about me anymore. I've known these people for at least 8 years of my life, and we've been there through the happy times and the rough times. But not so much last night.
I will be leaving to Korea with T to teach English and I'll be gone for a year. It's only a year right and it'll be done so fast. But somehow during that year, I'll feel like my friends will be drifiting apart from me slowly.
So anyway I was going to have dinner with them yesterday and during the day I went to Yorkdale Mall and they would meet up with me and I ended up waiting for 30 minutes infront of Coach. I already informed one of my friends but apparently the message didn't get through to the rest of them because they all split up to walk around. And this friend that I told where I was waiting thought I was shopping at Coach when she knows I don't even like Coach. Luckily T was waiting with me. Right when they finally came to find me sitting there, T just got up and stormed back to his car and left without saying hi.
During dinner, one of them decided to ask us "what was the most expensive present you ever got for anyone (in the group of friends)" Then the answers came pouring out at once. "I got you a cell phone", "Remember that huge Winnie the Pooh I got you? It was like $100 before tax!", "It was that Coach agenda that was $200 (I think or somewhere around that)" and me, "I think it was that KumaKuma turtle chair I got you for $50" In my mind thinking, my friends must think I'm a cheap ass. One of them decides to say out loud about me "Her presents are from the heart!" Because I can't afford expensive purses, cellphones and agendas for their birthdays. I work at Starbucks and they don't pay me $20/hour and I'm not getting enough hours at work. And I also prefer NOT to have my credit cards maxed out every time. Last Christmas I got them all the Starbucks Christmas Mug that looks just like the paper cups and one of them tells me she wanted the white one. Ok..what am I supposed to say to that, "Don't worry I'll exchange it??"
I didn't even have enough money to go on one of their birthday trips last weekend because I was helping my mom pay for some of the $1000 vet bill, which included putting down my cat. (that will be another story). I wonder if they're upset because I didn't go, because I didn't want to borrow money from them and because I spent a majority of my money for the application process to Korea.
Another thing that bugs the hell outta me is when we plan big events.
Like this Disney trip for example. We were planning to take the tour bus to go sightseeing while going to Disney World and this trip apparently cost around the same amount as if we flew to Disney World and stayed at the resort. But you know we're all going with "our friends" so majority rules and we travel by tour bus. This tour bus package BTW means that we spend 2 days in the bus, and live outside of Disney World and rush through 2 parks a day, go to Sea World and rush through Universal.
Prior to the trip, T was the one that found the package with the airplane and staying at the Disney resort. But my friends think it's too expensive even though you just need to add like $100 more or something, BUT you get to stay in the resort and take your time playing around. My friends think that spending 7 days in the Disney resort is boring and they want to go sightseeing, even though we can take a cab somewhere from the resort. So they actually have the nerve to tell me that I can go with T and they meet us there? WTH?? So stupid me, I decided to drop the whole flying to Disney thing and take the tour bus. As the trip was still being planned, two of them decided that it might be more fun going to Cuba, and guess what? If they didn't want to go to Disney, the whole trip would be cancelled just for them. But if I didn't go, they would tell me that I still have T to go on trips with me.
Blah blah blah, you probably get the picture.
This happens for other events too. Going karaoke, dinners, etc. I don't go they all still go, if one or two of them don't then no one else goes.
Sometimes I think I need to grow some balls and just tell them off. But in the back of my head I think, they're the only people that I've known. I've known them for 8 years and they should care about me. I know I've been there for them whenever they need me, so why aren't they? After all, the longer you know someone the better friends you become right?
I'm not so sure anymore.